So, in signing out of my hotmail this morning (yes, I still have hotmail) I was tempted by their stupid USA Today style links to click on a story about a skater giving birth 2 days after being declared brain dead. I was treated to / abused by / amused by / outraged by the following lede:

In life, Jayne Campbell Soliman was a champion ice skater. Two days after being declared brain dead, she became something greater.

She became a mother.

Full link.
Ponder that for a moment. I can think of about 8 interesting/horrible things about that lede. I just want you all to know that if die tragically, and if I somehow manage to do something extraordinary in this life, I would like you all to tell the obits people that I want that accomplishment minimized by my gender and/or sexuality. Possible ways:

In life, Zach Summers cured cancer. 5 years after a tragic woodchipper accident, he became something greater.
Via artificial insemination, he became a father.

Or, to go full-on ironic:

In life, Zach Summers battled against gender discrimination. 4 months after a small carload of clowns beat him into a coma over a foam nose dispute, he became something greater.
He became an uncle.

Cripes. Even FoxNews' sports coverage pisses me off.